nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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