Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
