Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
