My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
