I CAN MOONWALK!
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
