I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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