the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
