I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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