there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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