i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
