similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
