that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I deserve this hangover.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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