I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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