do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
