Nicole vs. Life
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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