hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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