I am in a vortex of obligation.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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