I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize