You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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