Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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