We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
