All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
