its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
