there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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