I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
