WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
