I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
