He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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