We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
