The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
