We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
