loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
