drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
