It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
