Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize