My nipple is on Facebook.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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