You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You may now shotgun with the bride
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize