Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize