return my video game
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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