He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
