you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
