I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
