the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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