thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
