so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize