Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
