sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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