She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
