Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
