Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize