Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
