May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
