I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
