note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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