I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
