oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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