remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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