Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
