Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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